وَعَنْ جَابِرٍ: قَالَ: كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي غَزْوَةِ فَلَمَّا قَفَلْنَا كُنَّا قَرِيبًا مِنَ الْمَدِينَةِ قُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي حَدِيثُ عَهْدٍ بعرس قَالَ: «تَزَوَّجْتَ؟» قُلْتُ: نَعَمْ. قَالَ: «أَبِكْرٌ أَمْ ثَيِّبٌ؟» قُلْتُ: بَلْ ثَيِّبٌ قَالَ: «فَهَلَّا بِكْرًا تلاعبها وتلاعبك» . فَلَمَّا قدمنَا لِنَدْخُلَ فَقَالَ: «أَمْهِلُوا حَتَّى نَدْخُلَ لَيْلًا أَيْ عشَاء لكَي تمتشط الشعثة وتستحد المغيبة»

When we were near Medina on our return from an expedition in which we had accompanied the Prophet I told him that I had recently married. He asked, “Have you married?" and when I told him that I had, he asked whether I had married a virgin or a woman who had previously been married. On my telling him that it was one who had previously been married he said, “Why did you not marry a virgin, so that you could play with her and she could play with you?" Then when we arrived and were about to enter he said, “Wait so that we may enter by night, i.e. in the evening, in order that the woman with disheveled hair may comb it and the woman whose husband has been away may get herself ready .’’* (Bukhari and Muslim.) * Tastahidd literally means to shave the hair on the private parts, and is explained as being used here in the sense or preparing herself for her husband’s enjoyment.