13. Marriage

عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ: كَانَتِ الْيَهُودُ تَقُولُ: إِذَا أَتَى الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ مِنْ دُبُرِهَا فِي قُبُلِهَا كَانَ الْوَلَد أَحول فَنزلت: (نساوكم حرث لكم فَأتوا حَرْثكُمْ أَنى شِئْتُم)

“When a man has intercourse with his wife through the vagina, but being on her back, the child will have a squint,” so the verse came down, “Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will” (Al-Qur’an 2:223). (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعنهُ كُنَّا نَعْزِلُ وَالْقُرْآنُ يَنْزِلُ. مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَيْهِ. وَزَادَ مُسْلِمٌ: فَبَلَغَ ذَلِكَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَلم ينهنا

He said that in the period when the Qur'an was coming down they used to withdraw the penis.* * i.e. before emission of semen, to avoid conception. (Bukhari and Muslim.) Muslim added that the Prophet heard of that and did not prohibit it.

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: إِنَّ رَجُلًا أَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: " إِن لي جَارِيَةً هِيَ خَادِمَتُنَا وَأَنَا أَطُوفُ عَلَيْهَا وَأَكْرَهُ أَنْ تَحْمِلَ فَقَالَ: «اعْزِلْ عَنْهَا إِنْ شِئْتَ فَإِنَّهُ سَيَأْتِيهَا مَا قُدِّرَ لَهَا» . فَلَبِثَ الرَّجُلُ ثمَّ أَتَاهُ فَقَالَ: إِن الْجَارِيَة قد حبلت فَقَالَ: «قَدْ أَخْبَرْتُكَ أَنَّهُ سَيَأْتِيهَا مَا قُدِّرَ لَهَا» . رَوَاهُ مُسلم

He told of a man who went to God's Messenger and said, “I have a slave-girl who is our servant and I have intercourse with her, but do not want her to conceive.” He replied, “Withdraw your penis from her if you wish, for what is decreed for her will come to her.” After a time the man came and told him the girl had become pregnant, and he said, “I told you that what was decreed for her would come to her.” Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ قَالَ: خَرَجْنَا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ غَزْوَةِ بَنِي الْمُصْطَلِقِ فَأَصَبْنَا سَبْيًا مِنْ سَبْيِ الْعَرَب فاشتهينا النِّسَاء واشتدت عَلَيْنَا الْعُزْبَةُ وَأَحْبَبْنَا الْعَزْلَ فَأَرَدْنَا أَنْ نَعْزِلَ وَقُلْنَا: نَعْزِلُ وَرَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَ أَظْهُرِنَا قَبْلَ أَنْ نَسْأَلَهُ؟ فَسَأَلْنَاهُ عَن ذَلِك فَقَالَ: «مَا عَلَيْكُمْ أَلَّا تَفْعَلُوا مَا مِنْ نَسَمَةٍ كَائِنَةٍ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلَّا وَهِيَ كَائِنَةٌ»

We went out with God’s Messenger on the expedition to the B. al-Mustaliq (an expedition in 6 A.H) and took some Arab women captive, and we desired the women, for we were suffering from the absence of our wives. We liked withdrawing the penis and wanted to do so, but we asked ourselves whether we could do it when God’s Messenger was among us before asking him. So we asked him about that and he replied, “It does not matter if you do not do it, for every soul that is to be born up to the day of resurrection will be born.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنِ الْعَزْلِ فَقَالَ: «مَا مِنْ كُلِّ الْمَاءِ يَكُونُ الْوَلَدُ وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ خَلْقَ شَيْءٍ لَمْ يَمْنَعْهُ شَيْءٌ» . رَوَاهُ مُسْلِمٌ

He said that when God’s Messenger was asked about withdrawing the penis he replied, “The child does not come from all the liquid, and when God intends to create anything nothing can prevent Him.” Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَنْ سَعْدِ بْنِ أَبِي وَقَّاصٍ: أَنَّ رَجُلًا جَاءَ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أعزل عَن امْرَأَتي. فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسلم: «لم تفعل ذَلِك؟» فَقَالَ الرَّجُلُ: أَشْفِقُ عَلَى وَلَدِهَا. فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَوْ كَانَ ذَلِكَ ضاراً ضرّ فَارس وَالروم» . رَوَاهُ مُسلم

Sa'd b. Abu Waqqas told of a man who came to God's Messenger and said that he withdrew his penis from his wife. He asked him why he did that and the man replied that he feared for her child, so God’s Messenger said, “If that were injurious it would injure the Persians and the Greeks.”* * This is explained as referring to a woman who is suckling a child, and the fear that the child, would be injured if she became pregnant. Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَن جذامة بِنْتِ وَهْبٍ قَالَتْ: حَضَرْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي أُنَاسٍ وَهُوَ يَقُولُ: «لقد هَمَمْت أَن أَنْهَى عَنِ الْغِيلَةِ فَنَظَرْتُ فِي الرُّومِ وَفَارِسَ فَإِذَا هُمْ يُغِيلُونَ أَوْلَادَهُمْ فَلَا يَضُرُّ أَوْلَادَهُمْ ذَلِكَ شَيْئًا» . ثُمَّ سَأَلُوهُ عَنِ الْعَزْلِ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: " ذَلِكَ الوأد الْخَفي وَهِي (وَإِذا الموؤودة سُئِلت) رَوَاهُ مُسلم

I was with God’s Messenger along with some people when he was saying, “I intended to prohibit suckling during pregnancy* but I considered the Greeks and the Persians and saw that they suckled their children during pregnancy without any injury being caused to their children thereby.” Then they asked him about withdrawing the penis and God’s Messenger replied, “That is the secret burying alive” and reference is made to it in the words, “When the girl buried alive will be asked (Al-Qur’an 81:8).” *(Ghila. It means either suckling during pregnancy, or intercourse with a woman while she is suckling a child. Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ الْأَمَانَةِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ " وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ: إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ الرَّجُلُ يُفْضِي إِلَى امْرَأَتِهِ وَتُفْضِي إِلَيْهِ ثمَّ ينشر سرها ". رَوَاهُ مُسلم

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported God's Messenger as saying, “The most serious breach of trust in God’s sight on the day of resurrection ...” A version has, “Among those who will have the worst position in God’s sight on the day of resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secret.”* * i.e. talks about the subject to others, or tells people about defects or beauties he has found in her. Muslim transmitted it.

عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ: أُوحِيَ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: (نساوكم حرث لكم فَأتوا حَرْثكُمْ) الْآيَةَ: «أَقْبِلْ وَأَدْبِرْ وَاتَّقِ الدُّبُرَ وَالْحَيْضَةَ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيّ وَابْن مَاجَه

God’s Messenger received the revelation, “Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth . . .” (Al-Qur’an 2:223) that means from in front or behind, but avoid the anus and intercourse during menstruation. Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it.

وَعَنْ خُزَيْمَةَ بْنِ ثَابِتٍ: أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يستحيي مِنَ الْحَقِّ لَا تَأْتُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي أَدْبَارِهِنَّ» . رَوَاهُ أَحْمد وَالتِّرْمِذِيّ وَابْن مَاجَه. والدارمي

Khuzaima b. Thabit reported the Prophet as saying, “God is not ashamed of the truth. Do not have intercourse with women through the anus.” Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «مَلْعُونٌ مَنْ أَتَى امْرَأَتَهُ فِي دُبُرِهَا» . رَوَاهُ أَحْمَدُ وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ

Abu Huraira reported God’s Messenger as saying, “He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed.” Ahmad and Abu Dawud transmitted it.

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِنَّ الَّذِي يَأْتِي امْرَأَتَهُ فِي دُبُرِهَا لَا يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ إِلَيْهِ» . رَوَاهُ فِي شرح السّنة

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “God will not look at him who has intercourse with his wife through her anus.” It is transmitted in Sharh as-sunna.

وَعَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ إِلَى رَجُلٍ أَتَى رَجُلًا أَوِ امْرَأَةً فِي الدبر» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيّ

Ibn ‘Abbas reported God’s Messenger as saying, “God will not look at a man who has intercourse with a man or a woman through the anus.” Tirmidhi transmitted it.

وَعَنْ أَسْمَاءَ بِنْتِ يَزِيدَ قَالَتْ: سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ: «لَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ سِرًّا فَإِنَّ الْغَيْلَ يُدْرِكُ الْفَارِسَ فيدعثره عَن فرسه» . رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُد

Asma’ daughter of Yazid said she heard God’s Messenger say, “Do not kill your children secretly, for the milk with which a child is suckled while his mother is pregnant overtakes the horseman and throws him from his horse.”* * It is here said that a child which is suckled while his mother is pregnant will suffer from it in later life, the tradition speaking specifically of his being thrown from his horse and killed. Abu Dawud transmitted it.

عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: نَهَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَن يعْزل عَن الْحرَّة إِلَّا بِإِذْنِهَا. رَوَاهُ ابْن مَاجَه

‘Umar b. al-Khattab said God’s Messenger forbade withdrawing the penis from a free woman unless she gives permission. Ibn Majah transmitted it.

عَنْ عُرْوَةَ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ: أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَهَا فِي بَرِيرَةَ: «خُذِيهَا فَأَعْتِقِيهَا» . وَكَانَ زَوْجُهَا عَبْدًا فَخَيَّرَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَاخْتَارَتْ نَفسهَا وَلَو كَانَ حرا لم يخيرها

'Urwa told on' A’isha’s authority that God’s Messenger said to her concerning Barira, “Take her and set her free.” Now her husband was a slave, so God’s Messenger gave her her choice and she chose to separate from him; but if he had been free he would not have given her her choice. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ: كَانَ زَوْجُ بَرِيرَةَ عبدا أسود يُقَالُ لَهُ مُغِيثٌ كَأَنِّي أَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهِ يَطُوفُ خلفهَا فِي سِكَك الْمَدِينَة يبكي وَدُمُوعُهُ تَسِيلُ عَلَى لِحْيَتِهِ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَىَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لِلْعَبَّاسِ: «يَا عَبَّاسُ أَلَا تَعْجَبُ مِنْ حُبِّ مُغِيثٍ بَرِيرَةَ؟ وَمِنْ بُغْضٍ بَرِيرَة مغيثاً؟» فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَوْ راجعته» فَقَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ تَأْمُرُنِي؟ قَالَ: «إِنَّمَا أَشْفَعُ» قَالَتْ: لَا حَاجَةَ لِي فِيهِ. رَوَاهُ البُخَارِيّ

Barira’s husband was a negro slave called Mughith whom I can still picture going round behind her in the streets of Medina weeping with the tears flowing on his beard. The Prophet said to al- ‘Abbas, “Are you not astonished, ‘Abbas, at Mughith’s love; of Barira and Barira’s hatred of Mughith?" The Prophet expressed a wish that she would take him back, but when she asked whether he was giving her a command and he replied that he was merely interceding, she said, “I have no need of him.” Bukhari transmitted it.

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ: أَنَّهَا أَرَادَتْ أَنْ تَعْتِقَ مَمْلُوكَيْنِ لَهَا زَوْجٌ فَسَأَلَتِ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَمَرَهَا أَنْ تَبْدَأَ بِالرَّجُلِ قَبْلَ الْمَرْأَةِ. رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُد وَالنَّسَائِيّ

‘A’isha said she wanted to set free two slaves of hers who were married, so she consulted the Prophet and he ordered her to begin with the man before the woman. Abu Dawud and Nasa’i transmitted it.

وَعَنْهَا: أَنْ بَرِيرَةَ عَتَقَتْ وَهِيَ عِنْدَ مُغِيثٍ فَخَيَّرَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَقَالَ لَهَا: «إِنْ قَرِبَكِ فَلَا خِيَارَ لَكِ» . رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُدَ وَهَذَا الْبَابُ خَالٍ عَنِ الْفَصْلِ الثَّالِثِ

She said that Barira became free when she was with Mughith and God’s Messenger gave her her choice saying, “If he has intercourse with you, you will not be allowed to exercise choice.” Abu Dawud transmitted it.

عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ: أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ جَاءَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ فَقَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي وَهَبْتُ نَفْسِي لَكَ فَقَامَتْ طَوِيلًا فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ زَوِّجْنِيهَا إِنْ لَمْ تَكُنْ لَكَ فِيهَا حَاجَةٌ فَقَالَ: «هَلْ عِنْدَكَ مِنْ شَيْءٍ تُصْدِقُهَا؟» قَالَ: مَا عِنْدِي إِلَّا إِزَارِي هَذَا. قَالَ: «فَالْتَمِسْ وَلَوْ خَاتَمًا مِنْ حَدِيدٍ» فَالْتَمَسَ فَلَمْ يَجِدْ شَيْئًا فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «هَلْ مَعَكَ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ شَيْءٌ» قَالَ: نَعَمْ سُورَةُ كَذَا وَسُورَةُ كَذَا فَقَالَ: «زَوَّجْتُكَهَا بِمَا مَعَكَ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ» . وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ: قَالَ: «انْطَلِقْ فَقَدْ زَوَّجْتُكَهَا فَعَلِّمْهَا مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ»

Sahl b. Sa'd told of a woman who came to God’s Messenger and offered herself to him. When she had stood for a long time (i.e. without receiving an answer) a man got up and said, “Messenger of God, marry her to me if you have no need of her.” He asked him if he had anything to give her as dower, and when he replied that he had nothing but the lower garment he was wearing, he said, “Look for something, even though it should be an iron ring.” Then when the man had sought and found nothing God’s Messenger asked whether he knew any of the Qur'an, and when he replied that he knew surah so and so and surah so and so, he said, “I have given you her in marriage for the part of the Qur’an which you know.” In a version he said, “Go away, for I have given you her in marriage; and teach her some of the Qur'an." (Bukhari and Muslim.)