13. Marriage

وَعَنْ رَجُلٍ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «إِذَا اجْتَمَعَ الدَّاعِيَانِ فَأَجِبْ أَقْرَبَهُمَا بَابًا وَإِنْ سَبَقَ أَحَدُهُمَا فَأَجِبِ الَّذِي سَبَقَ» . رَوَاهُ أَحْمَدُ وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ

A companion of God’s Messenger reported him as saying, “When two people come together to issue an invitation accept that of the one who lives nearer you, but if one of them comes before the other accept the invitation of the one who comes first.” Ahmad and Abu Dawud transmitted it.

قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «طَعَامُ أَوَّلِ يَوْمٍ حق وَطَعَام يَوْم الثَّانِي سنة وَطَعَام يَوْم الثَّالِثِ سُمْعَةٌ وَمَنْ سَمَّعَ سَمَّعَ اللَّهُ بِهِ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيّ

Ibn Mas'ud reported God’s Messenger as saying, “The food on the first day is a duty, that on the second is a sunna, but that on the third day is to make men hear of it; and if anyone makes men hear of what he does God will make him heard of” (i.e. will publish his hypocrisy on the day of resurrection). Tirmidhi transmitted it.

وَعَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ: أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ نَهَى عَنْ طَعَامِ الْمُتَبَارِيَيْنِ أَنْ يُؤْكَلَ. رَوَاهُ أَبُو دَاوُدَ وَقَالَ مُحْيِي السُّنَّةِ: وَالصَّحِيحُ أَنَّهُ عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مُرْسَلًا

‘Ikrima, on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas, said the Prophet forbade that the food of two people who were rivalling one another should be eaten. Abu Dawud transmitted it. Muhyi as-Sunna said the sound version is that it comes from ‘Ikrima from the Prophet in mursal form.

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «الْمُتَبَارِيَانِ لَا يُجَابَانِ وَلَا يُؤْكَلُ طَعَامُهُمَا» . قَالَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ: يَعْنِي المتعارضين بالضيافة فخراً ورياء

Abu Huraira reported God's Messenger as saying, “The invitations of two people who are rivalling one another should not be accepted, and the food they provide should not be eaten.” The imam Ahmad said it means two people who are competing with one another in providing a feast out of self-glory and ostentation. Baihaqi transmitted in Shu'ab al-iman

وَعَن عمرَان ين حُصَيْنٍ قَالَ: نَهَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِجَابَة طَعَام الْفَاسِقين

‘Imran b. Husain said God’s Messenger forbade accepting invitations to food provided by profligates. Baihaqi transmitted in Shu'ab al-iman

وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِذَا دَخَلَ أَحَدُكُمْ عَلَى أَخِيهِ الْمُسْلِمِ فَلْيَأْكُلْ مِنْ طَعَامِهِ وَلَا يَسْأَلْ وَيَشْرَبْ مِنْ شَرَابِهِ وَلَا يَسْأَلْ» رَوَى الْأَحَادِيثَ الثَّلَاثَة الْبَيْهَقِيّ فِي «شُعَبِ الْإِيمَانِ» وَقَالَ: هَذَا إِنْ صَحَّ فَلِأَنَّ الظَّاهِرَ أَنَّ الْمُسْلِمَ لَا يُطْعِمُهُ وَلَا يسْقِيه إِلَّا مَا هُوَ حَلَال عِنْده

Abu Huraira reported the Prophet as saying, “When one of you visits his brother Muslim he should eat of his food without asking questions and drink from what he provides without asking questions.” Baihaqi transmitted the three traditions in Shu'ab al-iman, saying that if is sound, it is because a Muslim would obviously give him only food and drink which were lawful in his opinion.

عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ: أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قُبِضَ عَنْ تِسْعِ نِسْوَةٍ وَكَانَ يقسم مِنْهُنَّ لثمان

Ibn ‘Abbas said that when God’s Messenger died he left nine wives, eight of whom he used to visit equally. (The next tradition explains this) (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْ عَائِشَةَ أَنَّ سَوْدَةَ لَمَّا كَبِرَتْ قَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَدْ جَعَلْتُ يَوْمِي مِنْكَ لِعَائِشَةَ فَكَانَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُقَسَّمُ لِعَائِشَةَ يَوْمَيْنِ يَوْمَهَا وَيَوْم سَوْدَة

‘A’isha told that when Sauda became old she said, “Messenger of God, I appoint to ‘A'isha the day you visit me” (Cf. the last tradition in this chapter). So God’s Messenger allotted two days to ‘A’isha, hers and Sauda’s. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْهَا أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ كَانَ يَسْأَلُ فِي مَرَضِهِ الَّذِي مَاتَ فِيهِ: «أَيْنَ أَنَا غَدًا؟» يُرِيدُ يَوْمَ عَائِشَةَ فَأَذِنَ لَهُ أَزْوَاجُهُ يَكُونُ حَيْثُ شَاءَ فَكَانَ فِي بَيْتِ عَائِشَةَ حَتَّى مَاتَ عِنْدَهَا. رَوَاهُ الْبُخَارِيُّ

She said that during the illness of which God’s Messenger died he was asking, “Where do I go tomorrow? Where do I go tomorrow?” That was on ‘A’isha’s day. His wives therefore permitted him to go where he wished, and he stayed in ‘A’isha’s house till he died there. Bukhari transmitted it.

وَعَنْهَا قَالَتْ: كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا أَرَادَ سَفَرًا أَقْرَعَ بَيْنَ نِسَائِهِ فأيهن خَرَجَ سَهْمُهَا خَرَجَ بِهَا مَعَهُ

She said that when God’s Messenger intended to go on a journey he cast lots among his wives and the one who was chosen by lot went on it with him. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْ أَبِي قِلَابَةَ عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ: مِنَ السُّنَّةِ إِذَا تَزَوَّجَ الرَّجُلُ الْبِكْرَ عَلَى الثَّيِّبِ أَقَامَ عِنْدهَا سبعا وَقسم إِذا تَزَوَّجَ الثَّيِّبَ أَقَامَ عِنْدَهَا ثَلَاثًا ثُمَّ قَسَمَ. قَالَ أَبُو قلَابَة: وَلَو شِئْت لَقلت: إِن أَنَسًا رَفْعَهُ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

It pertains to the sunna that when a man who has a wife marries a virgin he should stay with her for seven nights and then divide the time between them, but if he marries a woman who has been previously married he should stay with her three nights and then divide his time between his wives. Abu (Qilaba remarked that if he wished he could say that Anas traced it to the Prophet. (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْ أَبِي بَكْرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ: أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ حِين تَزَوَّجَ أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ وَأَصْبَحَتْ عِنْدَهُ قَالَ لَهَا: «لَيْسَ بِكِ عَلَى أَهْلِكِ هَوَانٌ إِنْ شِئْتِ سَبَّعْتُ عِنْدَكِ وَسَبَّعْتُ عِنْدَهُنَّ وَإِنْ شِئْتِ ثَلَّثْتُ عِنْدَكِ وَدُرْتُ» . قَالَتْ: ثَلِّثْ. وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ: إِنَّهُ قَالَ لَهَا: «لِلْبِكْرِ سَبْعٌ وَلِلثَّيِّبِ ثَلَاثٌ» . رَوَاهُ مُسلم

Abu Bakr b. ‘Abd ar-Rahman told that when God’s Messenger married Umm Salama he said to her in the morning, “You are not being humbled in my estimation. If you wish I shall stay with you seven nights as I did with my other wives, but if you wish I shall stay three and then visit my wives in turn.” She replied, “Stay three nights.” In a version he said, “The virgin gets seven nights and the woman who has had a previous husband three.” Muslim transmitted it.

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ: أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ كَانَ يَقْسِمُ بَيْنَ نِسَائِهِ فَيَعْدِلُ وَيَقُولُ: «اللَّهُمَّ هَذَا قَسْمِي فِيمَا أَمْلِكُ فَلَا تَلُمْنِي فِيمَا تَمْلِكُ وَلَا أَمْلِكُ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ وَالنَّسَائِيُّ وَابْنُ مَاجَهْ والدارمي

‘A’isha told that the Prophet used to divide his time among his wives equally and say, “O God, this is my division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what Thou possessest and I do not.” Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «إِذَا كَانَتْ عِنْدَ الرَّجُلِ امْرَأَتَانِ فَلَمْ يَعْدِلْ بَيْنَهُمَا جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَشِقُّهُ سَاقِطٌ» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ وَالنَّسَائِيُّ وَابْنُ مَاجَهْ والدارمي

Abu Huraira reported the Prophet as saying, “When a man has two wives and does not treat them equally he will come on the day of resurrection with a side hanging down.” Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Nasa’i, Ibn Majah and Darimi transmitted it.

عَنْ عَطَاءٍ قَالَ: حَضَرْنَا مَعَ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ جَنَازَةَ مَيْمُونَةَ بِسَرِفَ فَقَالَ: هَذِهِ زَوْجَةُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَإِذَا رَفَعْتُمْ نَعْشَهَا فَلَا تُزَعْزِعُوهَا وَلَا تُزَلْزِلُوهَا وَارْفُقُوا بِهَا فَإِنَّهُ كَانَ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تِسْعُ نِسْوَةٍ كَانَ يَقْسِمُ مِنْهُنَّ لِثَمَانٍ وَلَا يَقْسِمُ لِوَاحِدَةٍ قَالَ عَطَاءٌ: الَّتِي كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَا يَقْسِمُ لَهَا بَلَغَنَا أَنَّهَا صَفِيَّةُ وَكَانَتْ آخِرهنَّ موتا مَاتَت بِالْمَدِينَةِ وَقَالَ رَزِينٌ: قَالَ غَيْرُ عَطَاءٍ: هِيَ سَوْدَةُ وَهُوَ أصح وهبت يَوْمهَا لِعَائِشَةَ حِينَ أَرَادَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ طَلَاقَهَا فَقَالَتْ لَهُ: أَمْسِكْنِي قَدْ وهبت يومي لعَائِشَة لعَلي أكون من نِسَائِك فِي الْجنَّة

‘Ata’ told that when they were with Ibn ‘Abbas at Maimuna’s funeral in Sarif he said, “This is God’s Messenger’s wife, so when you lift her bier do not shake her or disturb her, but be gentle with her, for God’s Messenger had nine wives with eight of whom he shared his time, but to one of them he did not allot a share.” ‘Ata’ said they heard that the one to whom God’s Messenger did not allot a share was Safiya who was the last of them to die. She died in Medina. Razin said that someone other than ‘Ata’ declared she was Sauda, and that is sounder. She gave her day to ‘A’isha when God's Messenger intended to divorce her, saying to him, “Keep me. I have given my day to ‘A’isha. Perhaps I may be one of your wives in paradise.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا فَإِنَّهُنَّ خُلِقْنَ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ وَإِنَّ أَعْوَجَ شَيْءٍ فِي الضِّلَعِ أَعْلَاهُ فَإِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسْرَتَهُ وَإِنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَلْ أَعْوَجَ فَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ»

Abu Huraira reported God's Messenger as saying, “Act kindly toward women, for they were created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly towards women.” (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ لَنْ تَسْتَقِيمَ لَكَ عَلَى طَرِيقَةٍ فَإِنِ اسْتَمْتَعْتَ بِهَا اسْتَمْتَعْتَ بِهَا وَبِهَا عِوَجٌ وَإِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تقيمها كسرتها وَكسرهَا طَلاقهَا» . رَوَاهُ مُسلم

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Woman has been created from a rib and will in no way be straight for you; so if you enjoy her you will do so while crookedness remains in her; but if you attempt to straighten her you will break her, breaking her being divorcing her.” Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ» . رَوَاهُ مُسلم

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “A believer must not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” Muslim transmitted it.

وَعَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَوْلَا بَنُو إِسْرَائِيلَ لَمْ يَخْنَزِ اللَّحْمُ وَلَوْلَا حَوَّاءُ لَمْ تَخُنْ أُنْثَى زَوجهَا الدَّهْر»

He reported God’s Messenger as saying, “Had it not been for the B. Isra’il meat would not have gone bad, and had it not been for Eve a woman would never have acted unfaithfully towards her husband.’’ (Bukhari and Muslim.)

وَعَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ زَمَعَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا يَجْلِدْ أَحَدُكُمُ امْرَأَتَهُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ ثُمَّ يُجَامِعْهَا فِي آخِرِ الْيَوْمِ» وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ: «يَعْمِدُ أَحَدُكُمْ فَيَجْلِدُ امْرَأَتَهُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ فَلَعَلَّهُ يُضَاجِعُهَا فِي آخِرِ يَوْمِهِ» . ثُمَّ وَعَظَهُمْ فِي ضَحِكِهِمْ مِنَ الضَّرْطَةِ فَقَالَ: «لِمَ يَضْحَكُ أَحَدُكُمْ مِمَّا يفعل؟»

‘Abdallah b. Zam'a reported God’s Messenger as saying, “None of you must whip his wife as a slave is whipped and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.” A version has, “One of you has recourse to whipping his wife as a slave is whipped and perhaps he lies with her at the end of the day.” He then gave them an exhortation about laughing when someone breaks wind, saying, “Why does one of you laugh at what he does himself?” (Bukhari and Muslim.)